Answers to questions

It’s query time and I just saw this one. To turn the tables around, one of our readers{PHOENIX — edited version] posed these questions which I will answer as honestly as I can, in the spirit of All Saint’s Day. — Danton Remoto

1. The genie tells you, “Master, you have 3 wishes.” What are they?

a. To gain weight. I am 5′ 11″ and only 150 lbs. Maybe ten pounds more?
b. To have enough campaign funds in 2010.
c. Turn all corrupt GMA people into cockroaches so we could crush them under the heels of our stilletoes.

2. You’re Young Turk by day, secret superhero by night. Which one are you and why?

a. Cat woman. Nangangalmot — ng kaaway 😉

3. It’s the rapid fire segment of the show. Boy Abunda looks you straight in the eye and asks, “If you were a song, which one would you be and why?”

“When I Grow Up” by the Pussycat Dolls.

4. There’s been quite a lot written about you guys. What do very few intimates, if at all, know about you that would shock/surprise people?

I am actually a lazy person. People think I am always on the go, but I would rather just stay at home and sleep.

5. What for you is heavenly or sublime? No answers involving wives, children or public service.

Eating Arce ube ice cream on the beach.

6. Favorite restaurant, movie, play.

Restaurant – Aristocrat.
Movie – Jose Rizal (directed by Marilou Diaz Abaya)
Play – Macbeth (It is like our politics. Very bloody)

7. You’ve been chosen as a contestant in the new season of Amazing Race Asia. You’ll need a teammate you can work well with, and bathing happens only once every few days ’till you get to the pit stop. Who’s your partner?

Ay ay ay. Johnny Depp. Or Keannu Reeves.

8. Whose body would you want to have?

Papa Piolo Pascual. Lean, long, and tan.

9. Your greatest vice.

Eating junk food.

10. Your campaign is in full swing. It’s 100 degrees in the shade, and you’ve smiled, sang and danced ’till your weary body can take it no more. You’re standing onstage making your very last speech before you call it a day. What is your message to the Filipino people?

You’ve got to vote for me because if I lose, it will take ten more years for another bading to run for public office.



  1. liling magtolis briones said,

    October 30, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    Dear Danton,

    It was such fun reading your answers. Tawa ako ng tawa! Aha, we both like Johnny Depp and Keannu Reaves!

    Prof. Liling

  2. phoenix said,

    October 30, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    That was absolutely hilarious!!! Too cool. Borrow naman your stilletoes! Drumroll, please… For being so game, honest and funny, the 2008 Opposite of Apathy Earlybird Trophy goes to…Danton!

    Thank you so much for participating.


  3. wehavenoname said,

    November 1, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    Dear Ma’am Liling,

    Thank you po. I have been so sleepy the past few days because of the lightning trip to Bicol after my uncle died. Imagine going to the airport at 4 am to catch an early morning flight? And same same pabalik sa Manila? Sorry for my garbled text messages today, Ma’am.

    Dear Phoenix,

    Sorry I forgot to put your name in my answers. It has been a blur: people are asking me for money to clean the tombs of their dead relatives — and I am not even a barangay tanod!

    Ang stilletoes nasa nanay ko — 75 years old, permed hair, with 28 inch waistline, and the best ukay ukay clothes in town.

    Feel free to post questions like this. Nagigising ako pag ganito.

    My favorite Catwoman is Michelle Pfeiffer. She said, “A gift is also a curse.” Same with being a Catwoman, a writer, or yes — a politician with no campaign funds in 2010. — Danton

  4. phoenix said,

    November 2, 2008 at 1:50 am

    Hi Danton,

    My accountant is Bicolana, my sister-in-law is too. Good thing you didn’t have to drive 9 hours there and 9 hours back.

    You have no campaign funds? I have a friend who is one of the wives of disputedly the wealthiest man in the Philippines, and she has told me in the past that come campaign season, our Chinese taipans never turn down a candidate for funding when they’re approached. So, as many people know, they give to all sides. Why not approach other wealthy individuals of your, um, sexual persuasion – Manny Pangilinan (die-hard true blue pa yan), Gerry Contreras (gazillionaire architect turned real estate mogul) who also owns the former Ateneo Law School property in Salcedo, Don something-or-other whose family owns much of the Makati business district, who else…Ricky Reyes (he practically prints money)! Kung baga sa network marketing, make an exhaustive list, including longshots, and off you go.

    Thanks again for being so game about my questions. I really had a firm grip on the reins so that those of you who are very conservative (the other Turks whom we have yet to hear from) like Adel won’t be shy in answering. Good luck with your campaign.


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